English As A Second Language, Cont'd

Words I thought were cute English expressions until I moved here and found out they were rude:

Bloody
Wanker
Tosser
Sod
Bollocks

English As A Second Language: A Strange Preposition

This is something that's been kicking around my head for awhile. While I was prepared for the different usages that everybody who knows anything about Britain is familiar with (lorry vs. truck, lift vs. elevator, boot vs. trunk), one of the usages that surprised me was the different prepositions. This is, I suppose, just another one of those things that emerges when people speaking a similar language are divided by an ocean for a few centuries. I find myself unable to adjust to these usages in my own speech. For example:

American usage vs. British usage

At 5 p.m. vs. From 5 p.m.
On Fleet Street vs. In Fleet Street
During, over, or this weekend vs. At the weekend
(Not a preposition, but ...)
Take a decision vs. Make a decision
Take exercise vs. uhhhh, exercise

These are hardly a big deal, I suppose, but I can't get used to them, even after two years.

Movin' On Up

I probably shouldn't leave our readers in suspense: Yes, we are moving, next weekend, to the flat we mentioned here. It's a bit of a whirlwind move, and seems a bit overwhelming to me right now. Although I don't know what I'm complaining about, since our last move was maybe a little bit more disruptive.

According to my London A-Z, the neighborhood is called St. Luke's, but since Wikipedia tells me "the name is rarely used today," I may refer to it as Old Street, Finsbury or Clerkenwell, since they're probably more well known.

Things That Are Better Back Home

Have I mentioned banks?

I have?

I had a stark reminder of this yesterday. For reasons I will go into at a later time, I had to call both our British bank (twice!) and our U.S. bank. The differences were stark. It was so nice to talk to somebody at a bank who didn't consider the help you needed a burden.

Where Have You Been? We've Been Worried Sick About You!

Uh, hi. Blogging has been light this month because of a number of factors, not the least of which has been squaring away my UK taxes for the 2006-2007 fiscal year. In addition, as you may have guessed from this post, we've been flat-hunting, an experience described to me by a wiser man as "a soul-destroying experience." The good news: We think we have a place, within walking distance of Mrs. Werbenmanjensen's work, but with room for visitors. I did a lot of work to line up some rather unproductive viewings of places in the last three weeks, but Mrs. W made one call and hit a home run with it. That's how things go. I'm going to have her pick some numbers to play in the lottery.

Top 10 Estate Agent Lies

"Three-bedroom maisonette."

Happy Anniversary To Me

It was two years ago today that I arrived here in London for semi-permanent residency.

Huzzah!

Britons richer than Americans, (but then there's that matter of the cheap dollar).

The average UK person will this year have a greater income than their US counterpart for the first time since the 19th Century, figures suggest.
Analyst Oxford Economics said the UK's GDP per head of population will reach £23,500 - £250 higher than in the US.
However, because goods and services are cheaper in the US, Americans will have stronger purchasing power, it added.

Perhaps we'll stay?

Hat tip to Atta J. Turk, posting over at Eschaton.

Friday Catblogging

For Friday catblogging this week, we're going back in the archives, back when AA didn't exist and the people of AA lived west of the Atlantic.


Ethel, with her natural camouflage, attempts to hide on the duvet.

Just Two Of 591,000

While the lead paragraph on this story was that record numbers left the UK in 2006, it's interesting that so many, like us, entered the country in 2006.

The annual international migration figures confirm that an estimated 591,000 people arrived to live in the UK for at least a year in 2006, giving a net inward flow of 191,000, down from the record high of 244,000 estimated for 2004.

In a country of 60 million, that's quite a bit.

The Real Estate Blues

Reader Fatslug the Impetuous has tipped us off to an interesting article about London real estate prices:

Almost anywhere else, the tiny dilapidated studio wouldn't attract much more than mice. But this is London and the 77-square-foot former storage room — slightly bigger than a prison cell and without electricity — is going for $335,000.

The closet-sized space in the exclusive Knightsbridge neighborhood may be only "about the size of a ship's galley, said real estate agent Andrew Scott, who's handling the sale. "But it's permanently anchored to one of the wealthiest neighborhoods in the world."

It gets better.

A coffin-sized shower is en suite, and storage is provided by a shallow closet and 10-inch-deep shelves cut into the wall. Two hot plates and a small sink make up the kitchen. Two dirty windows allow light to filter into the basement room, and the fire escape could conceivably double as a shared patio.

With no electricity or heating, Scott said it would cost an additional $59,000 to make the room habitable.

Topped off by the ultimate bit of estate agent BS:

"It is an investment," he said, as he stretched his arms the width of the room, laying his palms flat on opposite sides of the wall.

Fatslug's comment:
How the #$%@ do you afford it there???

The Bureacratic Moebius Strip

"Hi, I'd like to register for a National Insurance number."
"We will need to see proof that you're working or actively looking for work. Are you working right now?"
"I'm self-employed."
"Are you registered as self-employed?"
"No. I need a National Insurance number to register as self-employed."
"We can't give you a National Insurance number unless you're working."
"I am working."
"You just said you weren't."
"I'm self employed."
"That doesn't mean anything. Are registered as self-employed?"
"I can't register as self-employed unless I have a National Insurance number."
"We can't give you a National Insurance number unless you're working ..."

(Happily, the people at HM Revenue and Customs were much more helpful. You know, I'm only doing this because I want to be a good citizen. I could have just simply tried to work and not pay taxes ...)

Some sightseeing

Despite arising at noon or so (which, techinically, is 7 a.m. EST, so I've evidently made no progress), we were able to walk about today.

Our street:






Old Spitalfield Market (10 quid to anybody who can identify Mrs. Werbenmanjensen):



A new coffee brand (he's so frothy):


My new tie (from Old Spitalfield Market--dig the leather saddle and the English-style saddle bag):



Mrs. Werbanmanjensen's new purchase (it's made from palm seeds):

So long to America ...

I've been so rushed that I haven't had time to properly reflect on leaving the land of my birth. I don't think I'm really going to miss the United States that much. I hear funny accents around me right now, now that I'm in London, and am struggling a bit to understand clearly, so it's a bit disorienting, but all that will become easier with time. Other things will be challenging to begin with, but every move comes with some adjustments. I think I'm going to like it here.

What to say about America ... I don't hate it, but I'm ashamed for it. I love it in the way a parent loves a troubled child, but I really do want it to change its ways. We've driven dangerously off track. That a renegade with a video camera, money, and some fanatical followers can bring an entire country to a standstill just by sneaking up and shouting "boo!" should tell us that we're no longer the bold America of our own myth-making. How weird is it? Nobody could get through security at Dulles for 15 minutes after checking my bags. Yes, TSA, the skies will be really really safe when nobody wants to fly any more.

But more than that, we now have a political culture that's anti-science, anti-knowledge, and anti-progress, and what's more, no longer cares that it's looking backward instead of forward and celebrates its own unawareness as a badge of courage. Is the UK perfect? Probably not. Would I have come here had I not been offered a great opportunity? Probably not. But it's looking like a really good choice right now.

These are not particularly well-constructed thoughts. Sleep was difficult even in the Virgin Atlantic "snooze section," so I'm feeling at least a little disoriented. My body still thinks it's 4 in the morning. More later.

Things that got packed but I cannot use in the UK

1. Cat food

2. Hair clippers

3. Light bulbs

Things I could have used but got packed ...

1. An alarm clock

2. Deodorant

3. Toothbrush/toothpaste

4. A chair

5. Garbage bags

Some things I won't miss about America

1. Sprawl

2. Traffic engineers who create sprawl

3. George W. Bush

4. Nasty, self-important, speeding, weaving, cell-phone-talking drivers

5. 99 degree days

6. Perpetual war

7. Warrantless wiretaps

8. Redneck "culture"

9. Small-denomination folding money

10. Televangelists

Our attachment to stuff

I'm reminded right now of the Buddhist poet who, upon finding his home had been raided by bandits, wrote that his burglars had managed to steal everything he valued except the moonlight shining on his windowsill.


I have no TV, no table, no desk, and only loveseat to sit on, and right now that sits in the kitchen because the carpet cleaners needed it out of the way. I will sleep tonight, as I did last night, on a futon mattress on a bedroom floor. I'm getting by, I suppose. I spend a lot of time in my local Starbucks (plural Starbucks) because wireless is spotty in my neighborhood and the DSL modem is in a box headed for London right now. I've learned with how little it really takes to survive. We don't need that much, in reality, and certainly where I"m going I'll have a lot less stuff and live a far simpler life in terms of belongings. At this point, I'm looking forward to it. But what really amazes me is how much stuff two people in one house for three years can accumulate. The photo above is of but one of three truckloads of discarded items that will make its way to the landfill from my house. Somehow, I get by, and it takes less than we think.

Other things I gave to people

1. A crockpot (to the maid/junk hauler)

2. A coffee maker (to the maid/junk hauler)

3. A love seat (to the maid/junk hauler)

Things that sat on my steps for three days waiting for a Freecycle flake to pick up

1. A juicer

2. Ten cans of unused cat food