Saturday, October 25, 2008

Top Five Lies About Soccer, er, Football

I love the beautiful game. I'll sit down and watch the British football equivalent of a Single-A baseball game if it's on, just because. But there are some things that you'll hear about the game that are just not true.

1. English people never call it soccer. This is just a flat-out lie. On Britain's leading sports channel, I just finished watching a show called "Soccer AM." I am now watching a show called "Soccer Saturday." English people can stuff it if they sneer at me for call it soccer. Get your story straight. It's either "football" always, or it's not.

2. Soccer is a non-contact sport. This is a lie that many American soccerphiles will tell you to promote the sport among kids. Hossam Ghaly's teeth will disagree. So will Petr Cech's head.

3. Soccer players run the whole game. Yeah, if they're 5 years old and the game is aimed at getting kids tired out so they'll take a nap on a Saturday afternoon. When players are substituted in certain matches, Britain's leading sports channel likes to pop up with a figure of how much the substituted player has run in that match. I've seen figures as high as 15 kilometers. Memo to Sky Sports: 15 kilometers is 37 and a half laps of the stadium. I'm not buying it, especially when I see guys in the 78th minute doing a lot of standing, walking and slow jogging.

4. There's no more hooliganism in soccer. German authorities might disagree. So might the Manchester police. Football fans have to be separated. Rugby fans don't. 'Nuff said.

5. Soccer songs and chants are sporty and inspirational. I'll let you be the judge of that. It appears that Atletico Madrid fans agree with me.

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Blogger oldest kid said...

After a concussion and a broken leg, A-lan can confirm that American soccer is definitely a contact sport!

2:41 PM  
Blogger Sarah said...

I dunno, but I do intend to use the word hooliganism more often. :D

4:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

1. You're correct, but 'soccer' is seldom used in speech.

2. Certainly never an assertion made outside the US

3. It's usually about 10k as far as I can see. Not out of the question over 90 mins.

4. Correct, but a lot less than it was.

5. Not sure who says that. Often amusing and entertaining though, other than the clearly unacceptable ones (mostly continental now)

10:54 PM  

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